Venezuela has lost its strongman. The world has lost one of its most prolific trolls.
Hugo Chavez was more of an annoyance than a threat to U.S. interests. But what an annoyance. While he once thought Twitter was a tool of terrorism, he became convinced it was an asymmetric tool to combat what he called a "conspiracy" of pro-American opponents. Any social media that rewarded hyperbole was tailor-made for Chavez. On Twitter, his use of exclamation points -- prolifically -- were guaranteed. Comparing enemies to fascists and barbarians? Check. Feigned outrage and grandiose boasts? Chavez was a pro.
In May 2011, the U.S. State Department imposed sanctions against the Venezuelan state-run oil company PDVSA for selling gasoline reformate to Iran, prohibiting Chavez's cash-cow from receiving U.S. export licenses. Chavez tweeted: "Sanctions against the homeland of [Simon] Bolivar? Imposed by the gringo imperialist government? Well: Welcome Mr Obama! Do not forget we are the children of Bolivar!" The sanctions proceeded.
A close supporter of Libya's deceased former dictator Muammar Gadhafi, Chavez responded to the fall of Tripoli like this: "We must stop the unleashed imperial madness! World, good world, humane world, do not be overwhelmed by the barbarism!" Chavez rushed early to the defense of Syrian dictator Bashar Assad. As the Syrian army used live ammunition against protesters, Chavez took to Twitter to announce: "I talked a few minutes with the Syrian President, our brother Bashar. Syria is the victim of a fascist attack. God help Syria!!" Assad has killed at least 60,000 Syrians over the past two years.
At home, Twitter was a means of disseminating mushy and self-glorifying propaganda videos. He dispensed advice on dealing with "traitors." His advice: a "raging socialist revolutionary offensive!" On accusations about poverty in Venezuela, he replied: "There is no poverty in Venezuela! Factory capitalism is poverty!" (According to the United Nations in 2010, Venezuela's poverty rate was 27.8 percent, which in fairness is a huge drop from the 49.4 percent Chavez faced when he came to power.) He also trolled an opposition primary debate: "The opposition is once again a fool!"
His trolling extended onto the airwaves and into the halls of the United Nations. During a televised speech to the U.N. in 2006, Chavez remarked that the building still smelled of "sulfur," by which he meant that nearby ex-U.S. President George W. Bush was the devil.
Chavez's Sunday variety show "Alo Presidente" was perhaps his most direct venues for rallying support and trolling Washington. The show could last hours -- basically, until Chavez decided to stop -- and was variously described as an Oprah-style talk program applied to authoritarian politics. Chavez would dress-down government ministers or announce new policies on the fly or dare the U.S. to invade Venezuela. "If one day you ever get the crazy idea of invading Venezuela, I’ll be waiting for you on this savanna," he once dared Bush, whom he also called a "donkey" and "Mr. Danger."
Chavez's mouth once nearly started a war. In May 2008, Colombian air force planes bombed a camp belonging to the FARC rebel group across the Ecuadorian border, killing rebel commander Raul Reyes. The next day, on live television, Chavez ordered his stunned defense minister to mobilize troops. "Mr. Defense Minister, move me 10 battalions to the frontier with Colombia immediately, tank battalions," he said. "The air force should mobilize." (PBS' Frontline preserved the moment.)
It'll be difficult for his successor to top that. Nicolas Maduro, Venezuela's interim president who is likely to stand for elections within 30 days, said Tuesday: "In the immense pain of this historic tragedy that has affected our fatherland, we call on all the compatriots to be vigilant for peace, love, respect and tranquility." Maduro announced the military and police would be deployed to maintain order in Chavez's immediate absence, while Venezuela announced it's expelling two U.S. military officials accused of plotting against the government.
The White House didn't engage in online flame wars with the former Venezuelan potentate. But since Chavez's death, the U.S. has offered few condolences. A statement from President Obama on Tuesday evening reads cold: "At this challenging time of President Hugo Chavez's passing, the United States reaffirms its support for the Venezuelan people and its interest in developing a constructive relationship with the Venezuelan government," the statement read.
Chavez's successor will have to grapple with internal divisions and an opposition movement that will see an opportunity to take power after 14 years of Chavista rule. Venezuela has lost the one person who needed everything to revolve around him, leaving a power vacuum and an unpredictable succession crisis. It's an important reminder that at the end of the day, trolling is just narcissism.
